today i sit in a cell in one of the hundreds of prisons in what is known as "the leader of the free world" america. i am american born, american raised, and american educated. in the free world i cooked for a living, earning roughly $100 aday. in prison i cook for 1200 inmates earning 40 cents aday.

in 2008 i pled guilty to "conspiracy and drug trafficking". a federal judge sentenced me to 151 months in federal prison. my home now is a 6 foot by 9 foot prison cell built to house one inmate, but because of prison over crowding is occupied by three grown azz dudes.

one night in a dream a voice said "u should look up the book of JOB, u should see what JOB did". not knowing GOD, or being very religous i didnt know anything about the book of JOB, but i was very curious about the voice in my sleep. one of my cell-mates reads out of a book every morning titled "FROM FAITH to FAITH", A Daily Guide to Victory by kenneth and gloria copeland. three days after the voice, because there was no vision, i asked phil if there was such a book called JOB. i explained to him about the voice and he got his bible out and procided to show me the book of JOB.

the book of JOB is the story of a man who suffers total disaster-he loses all his children and all his property and is afflicted with a repulsive disease. he cannot understand how GOD can let so much evil happen to one like himself, and he boldly challenges GOD. JOB does not lose his faith, but does long to be justified before GOD and to regain his honor as a good man. the prose conclusion records how JOB is restored his former condition, with even greater prosperity than before.

as i stated before i am not religious. i havent went to church since i was a boy and my mother took me. i still dont know GOD. going to prison i lost everything, my freedom and the respect of my 19 yr old daughter. what happens with my relationship and friendship with her mother? who can be so selfish as to say " wait for me", 12 yrs is an eternity. my daughter said "im irrelivant". am i irrelivant? hell yeah, at this time,in this moment, on this planet i feel very irrelivant.

in 2005 i was diognost with CHF, congestive heart failure, hypertesion, sleep apnea and chronic obesity. i came to prison

6'1" 305 lbs. my free world cardiologist prescribed a boat load of meds to fight all the illnesses.which i continue to take in prison. a sleep study shows i stop breathing 117 times in one 8hr sleep period. local state programs paid for my meds $230 a month. one program paid for my CPAP, $3500. cocaine sells paid for my drive-thru, $1000 a month.(suicide by fast food drive-thru)

so this journal is not about JOB or GOD. dispite the "voice" in my sleep this blog is about "get fit or die trying". my goal is to maintain a weight of 215-220 lbs. long term. short term goal is to jog 3miles for my birthday later this year. to live a healthy life style so that this middle aged convicted drug dealer can make it home to enjoy his family. it will be about my thoughts and feelings. it will also be about prison sights and sounds.

so join me as i share my daily struggles to lose weight, maintain weight and i will learn about protein, good and bad carbs. i will also take this body thru daily work-outs that will test me mentally and physically as i burn fat and build muscle.

thank you

paul