Friday, August 13, 2010

August 10, 2010

hello, had a good day. went out this morning and walked five miles. i was soaking wet and came in to the cold cold air conditioning. bet i quickly dried off and put on a dry shirt and i felt better.

lately there has been chocolate eclairs "laying" around the kitchen. i dont know when the f.e.d. got those but they are
they have this fluffy cream inside and they go down in two bites. terrible thing to a but if i ride the stationary bike for thirty minutes and walk five miles per eclair, guess what? i can eat another

as u can imagine the talk of the town is "the fair sentencing act 2010". no one can believe that this law only benefits people charged with crack-cocaine charges on and after august 2, 2010. the name of the law speaks for it-self, "the fair sentencing act 2010". wouldnt you think that if they felt that they were being "unfair" and it took an act of congress to right this unjustice, shouldnt everybody sentenced under the old un-fair 100-1 ratio get justice not now, but right now.

i want justice and i want it


Saturday, August 7, 2010

August 6, 2010

thank you ...... very few people here have someone that will help keep us informed on lssues that relate to our freedom. its hard to know that you are a victim of mass incarceration and the unfair sentencing schemes and very little is being done about it.

im waiting for the law to go retroactive.


Thursday, August 5, 2010

mother part 2

mother made everything a teachable moment.
if u got c's and d's on your report card she would explain the importance of having an education and how hard black people had faught for the right to go to school.
mother never learned to drive and would call me to take her to the store or walk her to the neighborhood store.
i remember when she use to walk me to elementary school she taught me that the boy always walks next to the street so that the girl is safe from traffic.
mother taught me to cook, sew, iron, and clean house.
she said that these things were important skills to be the perfect husband and that a lady will always choose the man who can help not the man who needs help.
mother taught me to love and respect her and my sisters.
to never curse or call a lady out of her name.
one day at age 5-6 i was outside playing and a neighbor boy slapped me across the face and i started crying.
mother came out furious.
she made me go in and she told me in so many ways that if someone hit me that if i didnt hit them back that i would never ever go outside again.
i never saw mother so mad.
but thats the way it was in the projects.
mother in extreme poverty over protective of their children.
nothing scarier than the fury seen in a ghetto mother whos child has been bitten by another kid.
mother had 12 brothers and sisters.
grandmother, that made 11 people under one roof.
a hot in the summer,clod in the winter project roof.
my childhood memories are filled with oatmeal, creame of wheat, and peanut-butter and jelly.
mother and one of her sisters had their own project apartment so that made three apartments that we visited.
during emergencies everyone would rally at grandmothers place.
those were fun times.
all my cousins and uncles and aunts would be their.
this was the early and mid 60's and us children didnt relize that the majority of those emergecies that brought us to grandmothers was racial tension in this america.
i remember being at grandmothers house as a little boy the day martin luther king was murdered.
the ladies were crying, the men were cursing and everyone had to lay on the floor under beds.
the whole time i could here voices saying " stay in your home or you will be shot, stay in your home or you will be shot".
one of my cousins is looking out the window and calls me over to look.
to this day i will never forget what i saw.
dozens of men in police uniforms everyone of them has a gun and that voice, "stay in your house or you will be shot".
i was 4 yrs old.
i asked my uncle "why all the police were out there with guns".
and he had to tell a 4 yr old boy that "the police have come to kill us".
i remember this like it was yesterday.
yes, we were taught to fear the police at very young ages.
when you see the police you run home.
in 1968 or 2008 or 2010 the police are still to be feared.
any encounter with them can mean lose of liberty, lose of freedom,and even lose of life.

more about mother soon


August 5, 2010

can u look up "the workforce incentive act" for me? thank you.

i also have more about mother coming soon.

thank you


Dear Paul,

This is all I could find....

Kind of old information.

Work Incentive Improvement Act
Ticket to Work and Work Incentive Improvement Act

Printer-Friendly Version

In late 1999, the Congress enacted and the President signed the Ticket to Work and Work Incentive Improvement Act (TWWIIA). This legislation represents a significant opportunity for increasing the employment of people with disabilities. The Social Security Administration (SSA) has until December 2000 to complete the regulations necessary to implement the Ticket to Work sections of the TWWIIA. The health care component of the TWWIIA is administered by the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS).

The TWWIIA provides for two landmark measures that have the potential of enabling millions of Americans with disabilities to join the workforce. The first is the creation of the Ticket to Work Program administered by the SSA. This program modernizes employment-related services offered to Americans with disabilities. Through the Ticket Program, individuals with disabilities will be able to get job-related training and placement assistance from an approved provider of their choice. This provision enables individuals to go to providers whose resources best meet their needs, including going directly to employers. The second measure expands health care coverage so that individuals with disabilities will be able to become employed without fear of losing their health insurance.

The information provided below highlights how the TWWIIA can benefit both Americans with disabilities who want to work and employers in need of qualified workers.

The Ticket to Work Program
Q: When will the Ticket Program start?

A: The first Tickets will be distributed in early 2001.

Q: Will the Ticket Program start everywhere at the same time?

A: No. Initially the Ticket Program will only be available in certain states. Under the terms of the Act, the program will be available throughout the country by January 1, 2004.

Q: How will the Ticket Program advance the employment of individuals with disabilities?

A: Recipients of Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) will have greater choice in getting the services and technology they need to obtain employment. The law gives them the right to choose their job training, employment placement and other service providers from a list of providers approved by the SSA. Individuals with disabilities will receive a “Ticket” which they will be able to present to an Employment Network provider they feel best meets their needs. The objective of the Ticket Program is to work with businesses, state vocational rehabilitation agencies and other traditional and non-traditional service providers to prepare individuals with disabilities for work and link them with employers who want to hire qualified employees.

Q: How will the Ticket Program work?

A: Benefit recipients will receive a paper document representing the Ticket and a letter of explanation with instructions and information about the Ticket Program. If the recipient chooses, he or she can take the Ticket to an “Employment Network.” The recipient will receive a list of approved Employment Networks from the SSA and can choose the one whose resources best fit her or his needs. Recipients can also choose not to use the Ticket. This will not affect their disability benefits. A benefit recipient electing not to use the Ticket may still use the services that are otherwise available through state vocational rehabilitation agencies.

Q: What is an Employment Network?

A: An Employment Network is a public or private entity approved by the SSA to provide job training, employment services and other support services needed to facilitate entry or reentry into employment for individuals with disabilities. The Employment Network acts as the “Ticket Taker”and may provide services directly or by entering into agreements with other providers. It may be a single provider of such services, an association of such providers or a one stop delivery center establishedu nder the Workforce Investment Act of 1998. A state vocational rehabilitation agency (VR) may be an Employment Network with respect to each individual with a disability to whom it provides services. The state VR may also accept referrals from an Employment Network, provided the referral is made by prior written agreement.

Q: How will Employment Networks be paid?

A: The payment structure is incentive-based and intended to ensure that individuals receive the ongoing services needed to maintain employment and succeed at work. The TWWIIA authorizes Employment Networks to be paid a percentage of the national average SSI or SSDI benefits under either an outcome payment or outcome milestone payment system. Under the outcome system, the Employment Network will be paid for each month a beneficiary does not receive a benefit check because of work or income for a period not to exceed 60 months. The 60 months need not be consecutive. The milestone system is similar. However, it provides for payments when the beneficiary reaches specified milestones while preparing for, or seeking, permanent employment, at which point the outcome payments begin.

Q: How will Employment Networks be selected?

A: The Commissioner of the Social Security Administration will select several Program Managers who will recruit and recommend Employment Networks. Program Managers will be public or private organizations. The criteria for an Employment Network are established in the Act and will be more fully defined under the regulations which must be completed by December of 2000.

Expanded Health Care Coverage
Q: How does the TWWIIA enable a person with a disability to work without losing health insurance coverage?

A: The possible loss of health care coverage is one of the major barriers for individuals with disabilities who want to work but have no alternative health coverage. The TWWIIA removes the need for individuals with disabilities to choose between health insurance and work by allowing states to provide Medicaid coverage to more people and extending Medicare coverage for Social Security beneficiaries.

Q: What changes does TWWIIA make to Medicaid Health Coverage?

A: Effective October 1, 2000 states will have the option to provide Medicaid coverage to more people ages 16-64 with disabilities who work. States will be permitted to liberalize limits to income, previously 250% of poverty, and resources. States also will be allowed to provide employed individuals who have certain medically determined impairments, as determined by the Secretary of HHS, the opportunity to buy into Medicaid even though they are no longer eligible for SSDI or SSI disability benefits due to medical improvement. For the purpose of the Medicaid buy-in, the states are authorized to require individuals to pay premiums, or other cost-sharing charges, set on a sliding scale based on income.

Q: What impact does the TWWIIA have on Medicare health coverage?

A: Effective October 1, 2000, the law extends Medicare Part A (Hospital) premium-free coverage for a total of eight and a half years after the beneficiary returns to work.

Additional Information
Additional information about The Ticket to Work and Work Incentive Improvement Act can be obtained from the Social Security Administration’s Web site at: < > or by calling 800-772-1213 (toll free).

July 2000
Updated April 2004
article from the United States Department of Labor

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


my mother was a beautiful lady.
she loved to cook and she loved children.
mother provided child care out of her home.
she really injoyed the children under her care.
she would school them, take them on field trips, and let them help make their snacks and lunches.
every waking moment mother would be active around the house.
she always kept our house clean and taught her children the importance of clean living and hygene.
we had to make our beds every morning.
she would have our laundry done and every day after school no matter what we had a hot meal waiting for us.
mother was a strict disiplinary.
her decisions were final and we followed and never backed talk.
she ruled with love, wise words, and she didnt spare the rod.
if u cursed at an adult or continued to under achieve in class u just might get a spanking.
these spankings never really hurt physically but were more of a tool to get your attention.
a tool that mother used to show us that "when she says do better, she meant that".
mother was very religious and attended church every sunday.
mother sung in the choir and my sisters and i sung in the youth choir.
i didnt care for church, as a youth it was scary to me.
i never understood what the preacher was talking about, there would sometimes be someone crying.
and i had a bad experince at church.
one sunday my sisters and i went to church with our grandmother.
we went to the church that grandmother attends.
i was about 8-9yrs old.
i have an uncle one yr older and an uncle one yr younger then me.
the preacher made a cross on their forehead with what i learned later was olive oil, then tapped their forehead and they both started dancing and "speaking in tounge".
well i wanted to speak in tounge and dance too.
one my aunt said "they are filled with the holy ghost".
the preacher performed the same thing on me but i didnt feel the holy ghost.
he tried again and i still didnt feel it.
my grandmother says " dont worry about him he is filled with the devil".
i was so scared hearing her say that.
years later as grown men i asked my uncle about that day and he said that they would act like they were "filled with the holy spirit so that they would be allowed to go outside and play after church.
but going to mothers church was a whole different experience.
mother made everything fun and a learning experience.
i was a mothers boy and i was always picked on by cousins and other family for always being "up under yo moma".
but i was facinated by everything about my mother.
even as a grown man i would call her everyday just to talk or ask for a recipe.
evey time mother bought new living furniture she call me to see if i wanted the old furniture.
my sisters were really mad about that and would ask me why i get such beautiful furniture.
when mother went to heaven it was the worst day of my life.
i told my sisters that i cant go to the funeral.
they understood and called me when it was over.
i didnt want that memory of my mother in death.
now i only can visualize mother talking, cooking, and playing.
later my sisters called me to have mothers furniture saying that "we all know that mother would have wanted me to have it".
it was one of the kindest acts of love ever.
two weeks after her death mother visited me in my sleep and said " son im doing fine, im with Morton and im fine".
that put me at ease.
but i still have days when i think about her and have to find a place were i can be alone and cry, cry, cry.
in the dictionary under "MOtHER" is her photo.

August 4, 2010


Here is an article I found.....

Obama signs Fair Sentencing Act
By Scott Wilson
The Washington Post

President Obama signed into law Tuesday the Fair Sentencing Act, which narrows the huge disparity in punishment given to those convicted of possessing crack cocaine versus those found with the drug in powder form.

The gap has been of particular concern to the African-American community. Crack users tend to be poorer than those who use powder - and disproportionately African-American.

Under the old law, someone convicted of possessing five grams of crack cocaine received a mandatory five years in prison. Those convicted of possessing powder cocaine had to be holding 100 times that amount to get the same mandatory sentence.

The new law, passed through rare bipartisan compromise, narrows that 100 to 1 ratio to 18 to 1. Obama campaigned on a platform that included closing the sentencing gap, but some legal activists are calling for it to be narrowed even further.

Obama signed the bill in the Oval Office with a bipartisan selection of lawmakers on hand, as well as Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr.. He did not make any remarks.

But White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs told reporters later that "the signing of today's bill into law represents the hard work of Democrats and Republicans."

"This is a good example of coming together and making progress on something that people had identified as a glaring blight on the law," Gibbs said.

"If you look at the people that were there at that signing, they are not of the political persuasions that either always or even part of the time agree," he continued. "I think that demonstrates the glaring nature of what these penalties had done to people and how unfair they were. And I think the president was proud to sign that into law."

By Scott Wilson | August 3, 2010; 3:43 PM ET

I am glad you are doing well. I look forward to the letter about your mom.

Much Love and Friendship,


thank u for that info. now the concern of many of us is that the law is not retroactive. but it may soon be. inmate law professionals say it may be retro in as few as 90 days. i need the years back. i was indicted for conspiracy to distribute 50 grams or more. with every five grams= 5 yrs. and the federal prosecutor made it clear that his offer of 151months was a real deal, that was half of the 25yrs divided by 5grams that i could have recieved. now you see why the law is called "the fair sentencing act", there is nothing fair about the way they are locking up american citizens. obama has said that he wants the ratio 1 to 1. so thank you very much. and hope that they will get really fair and make this retroactive so that it benefits those that have already been sentenced under the old un-fair act.

still working on "mother" will send soon.

much love and friendship


August 3, 2010

im doing just fine. the same thing happened last year at about the same time. two rival mexican gangs got in to it. what makes it so bad is that this facility is a level-low. the next step from here is to a camp or to a half-way house, freedom. by the time the government sends an inmate to a level-low he or she should be concentrating on programs that get you prepared for release, parenting classes, substance abuse classes, money smart class, and a host of other classes that get you ready for release. but we have these mexican gang members that are in the country illegal, they know they face deportation upon release so they never think about changing there life, they are born in itthe gang life its all they know. what started the fights was that one gang leader told his gang that "they needed to send a message to their rivals. so thurs they had several attacks at the same time.

but yes im fine. i avoid the gang members. and they know who their enimies are.

i share a room built for one with two other men. we played dominoes and we did calistinics to pass the time.

also on thursday the government passed the FAIR SENTENCING ACT 2010. the bill waits for the president to sign it to be a law. with this bill they basically admit that they have been sentencing african american men who deal crack cocaine to ten times more time then people who deal powder cocaine when its the same drug. the racial was 100 grams of powder = 1 gram crack = manditory 5 years. they changed it to 18 to 1. so now 280 grams of crack is manditory 5 years. google the fair sentencing act 2010 and see what u can see. only thing is that for me its not retroactive. i sure could use 4-5-6 yrs back.

im writing about my relationship with my mother, will send it soon


Tuesday, August 3, 2010

August 3, 2010


Wow. I hope you are doing okay. I couldn't imagine being in one room for that many days. What caused the fight, do you know?

Do you have a room to yourself or do you have to share one?

I hope to hear from you soon!


August 2, 2010

the whole facility has been on lockdown since thursday. two mexican gangs had a big fight thursday afternoon. so we have been locked in our rooms for four days. we had to eat sack lunches, no showers.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

July 31, 2010


Tell me some stories about your mom. I want to hear about you when you were younger. Were you a good kid? How do you think your relationship with your mother has affected your life? I only ask because I am sort of a single parent myself. I always worry about how my actions reflect to my son.

Hope all is well.

Love and friendship,


Friday, July 30, 2010

July 29, 2010

sounds like u all had a great time. its nice to have friends. i like to bowl too. im not real good but its a ball and im good at all games involving those round objects, lol

going outside here in a little bit. starting a new workout routine. the old one got stell.


July 29, 2010

i need someone to look at these two web-sites, lawyers and (families against manditory minimums) and see whats the deal with the passing of a bill that reduced the crack cocaine to powder cocaine ratio from 100 to 1, to 18 to 1. i heard it on the radio yesterday, but i only caught the end of the story.


July 28, 2010

hello. glad to hear from u. good to hear that u and ur son had fun in omaha. mary said she wished u lived there. its been a long time since she has had a real friend. thank u for being a great friend to my girls. i really miss them and i cant wait to be able to see them and talk face-to-face. sept 8th will be two yrs since i saw mary, 2yrs and 1day since i saw jalen. but it feels like 5 million yrs, 9 months, 3 hundred 72 days, 34 minutes 21 seconds, and


Monday, July 26, 2010

July 26, 2010

Hi Paul!

I just got back from having a wonderful weekend with the girls! It was so good to see Mary and Jalen again. I also got to see those two crazy boys, Spot and Luke. The kids are growing up so fast! Jalen gets more beautiful every day.

We had a weekend full of fun. My son came along with me this time. We also got to see crazy Dale. I went over to his apartment and was practically attacked by his freakin bird! Damn thing kept coming after me! So I left.

Anyway, we ate great food, and also did a little bowling. My son loves to bowl. Jalen and I watched from the sidelines as Luke, The Kid and Dale were trying to beat each other. It was so much fun!

Hope you are doing well! Shoot me an email soon so I know how YOU are doing. You don't always have to write one for the blog. Your letters are always best when it comes from the heart. That is how you should always write.

Much Love and Friendship,


July 23, 2010

thank u very much. after reading that book i feel different. i cant wait to end this nitemare and get on with the rest of my life.


Thursday, July 22, 2010

July 18

i recieved a book from home last week, "the new jim crow, mass incarceration in the age of colorblindness" by michelle alexander. ronald e. hamilton executive director, national black police association says, "it is a powerful analysis of why and how mass incarceration is happening in america, the new jim crow should be required reading for anyone working for real change in the criminal justice system".

as the united states celebrates the nation's "triumph over race" with the election of barack obama, the majority of young black men in major american cities are locked behind bars or labeled felons for life. jim crow laws were wiped off the books decades ago, but today an astounding percentage of african american community is warehoused in prisons or trapped in a permanent, second-class status- much like their grandparents before them, who lived under an explicit system of control.

in this stunning and incisive critique, civil rights lawyer-turned-legal scalor michelle alexander argues that we have not ended racial caste in america: we have simly redesigned it. alexander shows that, by targeting black men through the war on drugs and decimating communities of color, the u.s. criminal justice system functions as a contemporary system of racial control. in the current era, it is not permissible to use race, explicitly, as a justification for discrimination, exclusion, and social contempt. yet it is perfectly legal to descriminate against criminals in nearly all the ways that it was once legal to descriminate against african americans. the old forms of discrimination - discrimination in employment, housing, education, and public benefits; denial of the right to vote; and exclusion from jury service- are suddenly legal once you're labeled a felon.

alexander challenges the civil rights community, and all of us, to place mass incarceration at the forefront of a new movement for racial justice in america.

i use to "think" that i was a P.O.W..after reading this book, i now "know" that i am a prisoner of amerikkka's fake azz war on drugs, a caste system designed to label black and brown men "felons". a system that is responsible for the mass incarceration of over 2 million of this countries own citizens. labeling kids as young as 15, 16 years old felons and locking them in adult prisons for a decade for non-violent minor drug possession.

america the beautiful.


Friday, July 16, 2010

July 12, 2010

this week two seperate squabbles (fights) broke out. this is a stark reminder that at any given time u can b in danger. the first incident happened over a basketball game. ten people on the basketball court, someone attempts a lay-up, he's fouled a lil too hard for his liking, words are exchanged and the punches start to fly. thse guys fought out in the open. the second incident happened at food inmate was seated at a table, there was a banana on the table, an inmate in line grabs the banana off the table. the seated inmate says "thats my banana", inmate in line says, " it was on the table" ( unwanted fruit and milks are always left on the tables) name calling and threats ensued. these two guys stopped the talking and finished their breakfast. minutes later they squared off in a vacant cell, two men in, one man out. two men enter a vacant cell and only the victor exits. the loser usually requires medical attention. some prisons are called "gladiator school".

thats the way things can start here. just a banana, or just a basketball game. look out on this campus and u see manicured lawns, orange, apple, and peach trees. there are peacan and walnut trees. tennis courts and handball courts, but on any given sunday a banana can be the fruit that reminds us all that we are in a dangerous place.

i had my on lil adventure this week. i was walking the exercise track with a white inmate. we both arrived here the same day a year or so ago. we were talking about home and family. the next day he came to me and said that several guys from a group that i wont name said, that "whites dont walk the track with blacks" and "that he had better respect their rules". this guy is 6' 7" and weighs 320. he said that he told them that he is from the south and that all his freinds on his college football team were black and that he will walk with who he wants. i went and talked to some of the black inmates and they said that they (the blacks) have no such rule, but that some of the white groups expect white inmates to follow there "politics" (prison rules set by inmates). so we decided to respect that groups politics and not exercise together. but the racial devide is evident when you look at the exercise yard. the spanish guys hang at the handball courts, the blacks do the basketball courts, and the whites sit on the softball field bleechers. but all the races share the weight-room.

i started my time by my self, i started my exercise regiment alone, so i can finish it alone. plus my parents didnt teach rasicm. we actually encouraged to seek out friends from all walks of life. my parents would have dinner parties and every color of the rainbow was represented. i thank my parents for not being so narrow. if u choose your friends by the color of their skin you will miss out on some of the best friendships on planet earth.


Sunday, July 11, 2010


Everything is good. I just needed to have some time to myself after getting home from our vacation. I will see Mary tomorrow.

I have decided to upload all of the letters you send me. It makes it more real. I will make copies of your blog this week and send it to you. Hopefully you will start getting some readers soon. Sometimes it takes a little while for people to find you.

Much love and friendship,


July 11, 2010 Part 2

finally got hold of mary. she said that lucus left all the phones off the chargers while they were on vacation. she says she hae been trying to call u. i hope everything is ok with u. have a great day.


July 11, 2010

welcome back. i hope everone had a great time. mary said that her and jalen enjoyed themselves. thank you for the gift u gave jalen. with u and mary as role-models i know she will be one fantastic young lady. and thank u for all that u do, friendship is a rare commodity, especially from where i sit. mary, jalen, i r truley blessed to have u as a friend. so i do conform that yes i want that hug. thank you.

love and friendship for all the days of my life


July 6, 2010

the goal is to lose the weight, maintain a nice size, and get off the medication. the tricky part is im goona do this in a prison where i have limited nutrition, i have access to very few fresh fruits and veggies. i came to prison 305 lbs w/sleep apnea, congestive heart failure, and uncontrolled high blood pressure.

when i lost the first 55lbs i could sllep(good quality sleep) w/out a CPAP. this prison doctor told me that if i lose 50lbs i wouldnt have to take the medication. so i set out to get off the medication once and for all. now im down to 237 lbs. im on a mission to lose another 17 lbs over the next 2-3 months and to add muscle.

on monday-wed-fri for the last three months i start my day at 6:30 am. i eat 1 1/2 servings of oatmeal/bran-flake mixture, 1 tea spoon peanutbutter, 8 oz of milk (powder), and 16oz of water. at 8am i hit the rec yard and i do 500 push-ups. i break that down into 25 reps/20 sets, 1 minute rest in between sets. i drink 8oz of water rest 5 minutes then i speed walk 3 miles.(12 laps)

on tues-thurs-sat its the same start time, but for breakfast i eat 1 serving of honey O's. (fake cheerios) 8 oz milk, and 16oz water, these days i do ab exercises. i start w/20 minutes on the stationary bike, then i do crunchs, knee raises, leg kicks, and obliques. a total of 500. then i speed walk 3miles. (12 laps) since i do all this work in the morning it makes it easy to watch what i eat the rest of the day. i will eat a small meal every 2 hrs. turkey, chicken breast tenders, and ground beef. these are the proteins from meat available. i also have access to low-fat. most important is my H2o intake. i make sure i drink lots of water. i also eat lots of fruit, apples, bananas, grapefruit, oranges, and peaches when available. we also have can veggies, greenbeans, corn, zuccinne,(spelled wrong) and stewed tomatoes. so as u can see there is nutriton everywhere.

fats are everywhere too. theres always cookies, rolls, cakes, and pies laying around. so if you want to eat fats help yourself to as much as you like. and when you say you dont eat sweets people look at you like you're an alien. i guess im an alien. at home i use to take great pride in the fact that ate a cake a week.(lemon bunt cake or yellow cake w/chocolate frosting) another bad thing was the hundreds of calories i consumed drinkind soda.

i've learned to eat better. there are people that think inmates should eat rats and roaches.


July 4, 2010

thank you. happy independence 2 u 2. there is a correction officer shotting range a few 100 yards away so it always sounds like the 4th of july here. just a reminder of whats waiting if u try and jump that

the weather is great. its an eveyday 93-98 degrees. its not the humid thick heat that we have in the midwest. and for some reason its always very cloudy in the morning, then the sun breaks through around noon. so i take advantage of the over cast skys to get my workout in.

so u ladies really want to come to the lone-star state. i sure need a soft perfume fueled huggs. so make sure u bring a few with u.

got an e-mail from mary 2day wishing me a happy forth. she told me that u r leaving tomorrow morning. so u ladies drive safely and have a great vacation. take some pictures.

i had my one year review. the counselor told me to give them one more year of "good conduct" and they will send me to a camp. camps have more privledges, no fence, smaller population, and the one i want to go to is in yankton,south dakota. its about an hour forty minutes from omaha. visitors can bring "FOOD". so u know what to do, bring

i will send u a visitor form this week so we can already have you added to my list.

much love and friendship


Monday, June 28, 2010

today i sit in a cell in one of the hundreds of prisons in what is known as "the leader of the free world" america. i am american born, american raised, and american educated. in the free world i cooked for a living, earning roughly $100 aday. in prison i cook for 1200 inmates earning 40 cents aday.

in 2008 i pled guilty to "conspiracy and drug trafficking". a federal judge sentenced me to 151 months in federal prison. my home now is a 6 foot by 9 foot prison cell built to house one inmate, but because of prison over crowding is occupied by three grown azz dudes.

one night in a dream a voice said "u should look up the book of JOB, u should see what JOB did". not knowing GOD, or being very religous i didnt know anything about the book of JOB, but i was very curious about the voice in my sleep. one of my cell-mates reads out of a book every morning titled "FROM FAITH to FAITH", A Daily Guide to Victory by kenneth and gloria copeland. three days after the voice, because there was no vision, i asked phil if there was such a book called JOB. i explained to him about the voice and he got his bible out and procided to show me the book of JOB.

the book of JOB is the story of a man who suffers total disaster-he loses all his children and all his property and is afflicted with a repulsive disease. he cannot understand how GOD can let so much evil happen to one like himself, and he boldly challenges GOD. JOB does not lose his faith, but does long to be justified before GOD and to regain his honor as a good man. the prose conclusion records how JOB is restored his former condition, with even greater prosperity than before.

as i stated before i am not religious. i havent went to church since i was a boy and my mother took me. i still dont know GOD. going to prison i lost everything, my freedom and the respect of my 19 yr old daughter. what happens with my relationship and friendship with her mother? who can be so selfish as to say " wait for me", 12 yrs is an eternity. my daughter said "im irrelivant". am i irrelivant? hell yeah, at this time,in this moment, on this planet i feel very irrelivant.

in 2005 i was diognost with CHF, congestive heart failure, hypertesion, sleep apnea and chronic obesity. i came to prison

6'1" 305 lbs. my free world cardiologist prescribed a boat load of meds to fight all the illnesses.which i continue to take in prison. a sleep study shows i stop breathing 117 times in one 8hr sleep period. local state programs paid for my meds $230 a month. one program paid for my CPAP, $3500. cocaine sells paid for my drive-thru, $1000 a month.(suicide by fast food drive-thru)

so this journal is not about JOB or GOD. dispite the "voice" in my sleep this blog is about "get fit or die trying". my goal is to maintain a weight of 215-220 lbs. long term. short term goal is to jog 3miles for my birthday later this year. to live a healthy life style so that this middle aged convicted drug dealer can make it home to enjoy his family. it will be about my thoughts and feelings. it will also be about prison sights and sounds.

so join me as i share my daily struggles to lose weight, maintain weight and i will learn about protein, good and bad carbs. i will also take this body thru daily work-outs that will test me mentally and physically as i burn fat and build muscle.

thank you


Saturday, June 26, 2010

Letters from Paul will be coming soon.

These letters are from my friend Paul, who is currently in prison. These are his direct words and thoughts. I have not altered any of his letters. These letters cannot be copied without permission from Paul himself.

Thank you.